There is a universal┬átruth to the saying “You cannot know Joy without Sadness”.

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Morning at the beach

On the morning of his death, I took Max to the beach – and although he was in pain and discomfort, he still managed to have fun. Just look at his smile!

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It’s how I’ve managed my Clinical Depression for 30 years – by reminding myself that no matter how bad I am feeling, that the reverse is just ahead . . . . happiness, laughter and joy. To truly appreciate how good life is, I need to accept and acknowledge that sometimes life sucks.

And this past week, my life has truly sucked.

On Tuesday, after struggling for three weeks to nurse him back to health, I had to euthanise my third dog, Max. He wasn’t quite eleven years old, but he was robust and healthy and so vivacious that most people thought he was still a teenager. Then three weeks ago he slipped a disk in his neck at about the height of his shoulders, and had suffered incredible pain and lethargy because of it.

I did EVERYTHING I could to get him well: bought a travel cage to immobilise him, fed him special foods to help his digestion, fed him water via a syringe, gave him anti-inflammatories + anti-nausea + pain killers; massaged him gently to help him relax his muscles.

But nothing helped.

So on Tuesday after a long weekend here in Western Australia (Queen’s Birthday), I made the impossibly real decision to put Max out of his misery. A decision I did not imagine I would have to make only 16 months after losing both Horatio and Jack. I thought Max would be with me at least another five years.

At least.

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My beautiful little Maxxy Moo - asleep forever

My beautiful little Maxxy Moo – asleep forever

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A special tag, made for him by my lovely neighbour lauren

A special tag, made for him by my lovely neighbour lauren

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My beautiful baby bear - good night my Little Man

My beautiful baby bear – good night my Little Man

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Life just keeps rolling on by though, doesn’t it?!?

So . . . . I want to say thank you to the universe for bringing Max into my life. even on the fifth day of misery and utter heartbreak, because all my Beloved Boys are now gone – I want to say how grateful I am to have had his utterly, sunshiny face in my life.

I love you so fucking much and I cannot quantify how much I will miss you. Please, please give Jack & Horatio a big lick and butt-sniff for me. My life is immeasurably richer for having shared so many years with you all.

I will miss you all, every single day.

<3
Your Mummy

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All three of My Boys - together again, somewhere in the the Universe

All three of My Boys – together again, somewhere in the the Universe